


The Blue Lion's confident

by Mercy_Wonder



Series: Dimidue Slowburn [2]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: All the Love for Dedue, Blue Lions Feelings, Boys In Love, But Being Oblivious, Everyone bonding with Dedue, Fluff, Friendship, Idiots in Love, M/M, Minor Blue Lion Route Spoilers, Mutual Pining, Pining, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Time Skip, Sad Feelings for Everyone, The Blue Lions being a big family, comfort in friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-12-09 06:02:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20990024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mercy_Wonder/pseuds/Mercy_Wonder
Summary: Dedue is a young man of a few words. Sometimes people mistake his silences as a mark of disinterest. His closest friends know it's only his way of being attentive to the things around him. They know it's what makes him a good listener, and a perfect confidant. It's not like he would run off and talk to everyone about the secret they told him.With time, despite himself, and because it is so easy to corner him in the greenhouse were he likes to regularly garden, he becomes the ear to fill with complains. The shoulder to cry on.It's too bad that he can't let himself talk about his own feelings in return.





	The Blue Lion's confident

**Author's Note:**

> Dimidue still on my mind so I had to write another fic with pining oblivious fools.  
Also I wanted to do something where we could see all of the blue lions because that lacked in my previous one.  
I decided to put it as a follow-up of As Equals because I figured, why not go all the way. Why not try and write the entire thing of them living with their feelings through time.   
So, yeah, I'm going to try that. There is more to come.   
But it can be read before the part one of the serie. Only a few themes are coming back.   
I hope you enjoy it! ;)

Dedue is a comforting presence. He's come to understand it with time. 

Though it is not entirely the truth. He is a comforting presence to the people who try to know him, at least. To strangers, he is intimidating, a big and strong man who could resist any blow and wipe anything with an axe. He is disgusting. A man from Duscur. He is what remains of the people responsible for the tragedy that took place four years ago. Or so it is said. 

But to the student of the house of the Blue Lion, he is none of those things. He is a reliable ally, he is a friend, he is a comforting presence and an attentive ear. He is someone quiet and gentle. He is a great confidant. 

Dedue spends to most of his time in the greenhouse. This place is just soothing to him. There are only a few people who come here, so he is certain to not disturb anyone with his presence, and he can take care of the flowers and plants as long as he wants. It is a calm environment, where he can be left alone with his quiet thoughts. At least when his Highness doesn't need his assistance. 

At least when no one wants to share their problems with him. 

As time passed, his fellow classmates dropped their prejudices toward him, all of them. And he greatly enjoyed it. It felt as if the house of the Blue Lions was the only place where he could be truly himself, with no fear of what people might thing about him, and about his prince, for staying around a man of Duscur. The bond between all of them became stronger, after battles and battles fought and won together. And he can say with no doubts that he cares deeply about all of them. 

But between those battles were time of peace, that he needed, to sort through his thoughts and feelings. At peace, in the greenhouse, with the only company of the flowers he took care of. After a moment, he was not allowed to have it anymore. 

It began the day he heard a loud bang coming from near the greenhouse. He rose up from he kneeling position, on his guards. He feared that the monastery was under attack. He felt panic raise inside of him. He had no weapon near him. Only the trowel then clenched in his fist. He wasn't with his Highness. Where was he? He needed to be by his sides. But the only invader he saw then was Annette, who burst into the greenhouse with a terrified look. 

“What happened.” Dedue urged her to tell him. 

The enchantress squealed, probably because Dedue was a bit too harsh because of the fear he felt. And under the pressure, she quickly admitted. “Ah-! Alright! I exploded a cooking pot in the kitchen, again! Please don't say it was me!”

Dedue then stopped in his tracks. So that was only this. Another one of Annette's disaster. No one was in danger. He sighed and left the tension in his shoulders drop, before he became no more interested in the event and returned to his gardening. But for some reason, he could not regain all the focus he has before the interruption. Maybe because he could almost feel the nervousness of his classmate. He turned his head enough to register the fact that Annette was still there, her body flat against the door of the greenhouse, as if it would hide her more efficiently. She did know that the glass was transparent from the outside too, right? 

“Don't look at me like that...” She wallowed. 

Dedue didn't say anything. He didn't understand what “that” could be. As far as he knew, he had his usual expression. So instead he stopped looking at her all together. 

“I just... I got lost in my thoughts again. I can't bare another one of the cook's lectures...” 

“I see...” Dedue understood. The cook was someone rather composed, except when it came of making a mess of her kitchen. And knowing that Annette had just fled the crime scene, she would not go away with no repercussions. He wondered why she ran in the first place. A poor strategy. 

Annette groaned loudly, and then Dedue heard the sound of her footsteps coming near him. “I already feel so much pressure... I know I shouldn't have gotten distracted but... Times are so difficult, you know. We aren't even adults yet and we still have to run out to fight bandits and demonic beasts!” She complained loudly as she sat down on the low wall separating the plants and the pavement of the greenhouse. “Then there are the grades. The professor's tutoring. My studies in magic. Magic is so hard! And it's like I am pulled in so many different directions at the same time, it's impossible to focus on only one thing!” 

Dedue rose his head to look at her, wondering for a moment why she would tell him those things. But he could understand her. It was true that there was a lot a pressure put onto their shoulders. He supposed he was just too used to it to notice. His highness had to live up to high expectations all his life, especially after the tragedy of Duscur. And him, he always followed him, trying to take on as many charges as he could to prevent his prince from breaking his back. 

“And there is also...” She sighed, and though it was a sound much less dramatic than all the ones she did before, it seemed to be breathed from a much deeper pain. “Time passes so quickly. This is my last chance to find him and still...” 

Dedue didn't know what to say. He could only look up to her, his trowel still in hand. She looked so sad, then. He had never seen her in such a deep sadness. He never saw her with such low energy. It felt wrong. And he wished to do something to help her, but before he could even open his mouth, she retracted. 

“Ah, but I know you are right! I can't just leave my mess like that, it's just not right...” She sighed as she pushed herself back on her feet. She took a few steps toward the door, before she stopped and turned to him with a genuine smile. “Thank you for listening, Dedue! You're a great listener!” 

The next student who came to him was Mercedes. She had made her way quietly into the greenhouse, and Dedue could have not heard her if she hadn't close the door a little bit too strongly. She had always been a sweet soul, soft even in her steps. But when Dedue looked up, he could see that something was wrong. She had her signature sweet smile, but there was a frown between her eyebrows. 

“Mercedes...” He greeted her.

“Oh, hello Dedue.” She smiled a little. “Annie was right! There is something really calming about this place.” 

Dedue looked at her, then around in the greenhouse. He supposed she was right. The greenhouse was a beautiful and quiet place, and he liked to think it was mostly thanks to the care he gave to the plants and flowers. The atmosphere there was unique, cut off from the rest of the academy for the plants and flowers requiring a special environment. It was a soothing space. 

They looked at each other in a comfortable silence for a moment, before Mercedes talked again. “Oh, but don't let me stop you.” She said with a smile. 

Dedue nodded, and went off toward the little fountain in the corner of the greenhouse to fill up the watering pot. 

“It does feel a little bit like the cathedral. There is this mystic feeling about this place. As if I could feel just every feelings that were put into its care.”

Dedue didn't comment on it. He wondered if she knew about all he really poured in this activity. His heart and soul, to forget it when he was out in the battlefield or alongside his Highness. 

He settled for keeping on gardening, pulling the watering out of the water when it was full. When he turned around, she was right behind him, watching him garden. Suddenly he felt nervous. As he felt when Annette was there. But then it was for a good reason. She was practically pacing in his back. Mercedes was only watching. That was when he understood that she must have felt just as disturbed. She only wasn't the type to show it like her best friend.

"Is... There something bothering you?" He finally asked, feeling his discomfort only grown with time. 

"Oh, not at all. I only wanted to..." She trailed off, as if only half through her sentence she knew that there was no point in ending it. That Dedue would just see she was lying and... Lying to your ally was not a good thing. Dedue didn't say anything, but decided that maybe, it would make it easier for her if he kept on gardening. So he walked past her and watered the plants that needed it.

"Usually I talk to the goddess about the things that cloud my mind. But lately, I don't know... It feels as if it isn't enough."

"There is no one here to listen." Dedue stated. It made his classmate in his back sigh, but he heard the smile in the sound. 

"I suppose... Things have been feeling so... Lonely, lately." She admitted, her voice low. 

Dedue could have not paid it much thoughts. But the words were too true to be ignored. He felt it, too. The bonds between the Blue Lions had never been stronger. But with the discontinued attacks and fighting and hurting, it always felt as if there were too many things left unsaid. Too many things to keep hidden. 

"Of course I always remember the presence of the goddess. But she is not... People.” She said with a low voice, as if she was telling something worth punishment. “I still remember when I went to pray with all of my family. It wasn't much but at least we were together. I guess I just kept on doing it even if they are not with me anymore, because... I miss them, and my brother... Terribly." 

“I'm sorry...” Dedue only said, because he knew too well what it felt like to loose your entire family so suddenly. 

Him talking when he stayed silent until know seemed to shock her. Because she seemed to change so suddenly her mindset. “Of course you guys are like a family to me. When I'm around the Blue Lions it's like I'm not missing a thing!” 

Dedue had to try very hard to stay stoic when he heard those words. He rarely heard someone speak so sweetly. And it was so genuine, he heard in Mercedes's voice that it really came from her heart. And he could only feel his soften. He suppose, in a way, he could understand what she felt. 

“Oh, you inspired me Dedue. I will bake sweets for everyone just to show them how I appreciate everything they do for me. Of course it includes you!” She giggled as she probably noticed the little smile that Dedue could not hide. 

In response, he could only hum and nod, and like this she was going away, with a new lightness to her steps. 

The next member of the Blue Lions came by accident, of sorts. He didn't really mean to come to see Dedue. He just was curious about the greenhouse, and came in without asking if he was disturbing anyone. Dedue only heard the door open and he turned at the sound of the voice. 

“Did I not see Annette and Mercedes come here?”

The moment Dedue recognized Sylvain, he turned away to go back to his gardening. He perfectly knew he wasn't here to garden, even less to talk to him, as he had only asked. He would be soon going away bothering a few female students.

"Did they came here just to see you? Well, Dedue. I didn't know you were so popular with girls. Really you know how to hide your game."

Ah but apparently he managed to make it about that and include him in this discussion. Some form of achievement in its own. Dedue didn't reply, already feeling tired of the subject. But it seemed that Sylvain was not.

"Ah if only I could be popular with cute girls like them. It would keep me from many problems. Hey did you know that this girl I just dated managed to be jealous of Ingrid?" He complained much louder, but Dedue understood that it was only that the distance was reduced. He tried to pay him no mind, when the red haired left himself fall on the low wall near him. He managed to fully concentrate on his task, watering the plants that needed it and carefully not watering the flowers left of his native land. 

Sylvain complained for what seemed like hours. It stopped bothering Dedue after a moment. He knew that his classmate meant no harm. Only... The subject of courting girls was one that interested him the least. He just managed to shut him down and get only focused on his gardening. Sylvain didn't need him to fully register his complains. He only ranted for the sake of ranting. 

Until at a time, he started to laugh. The sound brought Dedue back to the discussion. “I can't believe she chased me all the way to the dormitories! I'm really lucky Dimitri was here and accepted to hide me in his room.” 

Dedue tried very hard not to think about how he would never do such a thing. First because he really didn't have the same interest as Sylvain in courting women. Then because there was no way he would be allowed in the first floor of the dormitories, as a commoner and a man of Duscur. And finally... He would never burst like that in the chambers of his Highness. He would have to be invited in but... No, he could not imagine why would his prince invite him in his room. 

“But I guess he did owe me this favor.” Sylvain laughed, remembering something that must be hilarious, Dedue thinks. “I remember when I managed to get him to flirt with a girl. Then he begged of me to hide him in my room until she was gone.”

Dedue stayed silent, trying hard not to show his discomfort on the subject. He felt deeply disturbed by the subject, but he didn't ask Sylvain to stop. He had no rights, after all. There was no reasons for this unease he felt in his heart at the idea of his Highness flirting with someone. 

Sylvain left quickly after, probably having nothing else to talk about. But he came back, a few times. Just like Annette, and Mercedes. And this is how it started. They seemed to find something calming in his presence. And now they act as if he is their confidant. He supposes he doesn't really mind. He enjoys spending time with people he likes. Only... he wishes more and more that he could have his alone time too, like before. They are not the only ones who need to spill their guts. 

“You're here.” He hears suddenly someone talking behind him. It takes him a second to recognize Felix's voice. He definitely wasn't expecting to see him here. He doesn't know what he wants, but it's probably not to empty his heart, since he already has his own coping mechanism of training intensively and getting rid of his feelings with each violent swings of his sword. Someone didn't come to find him to use his as a confessional, for once. “For once that I don't see you running after the boar prince.” 

“I already told you to stop talking like that about his highness.” Dedue replies, on the verge of turning around to face Felix. But the swordsman only humphs. For a moment, he stays so silent that Dedue thinks he's left, but turning his head enough to see him at the corner of his eye, he understands that he has no intention of leaving. Not before he... he doesn't know. He understands when Felix opens his mouth again. 

“He's just... way to sensible. That idiot.” Dedue cannot argue with him. “We've all lost people we cared about. But it's like he's the only one who is allowed to suffer, even after all those years...” 

Dedue doesn't reply. He knows he has nothing to say. Nothing that would not lead to some sort of arguing between the two of them. He knows they don't have the same view over things regarding his Highness. But thankfully, Felix changes the subject all together, stepping closer to look over his shoulders to the plants he is tending to. 

“Why do you care so much about stupid flowers anyway?” 

“I just do. It is something that I find calming and I find that I am quite talented in the matter. I... used to garden with my older sister. We would grow the vegetables that our mother would teach us how to cook.” He lets himself say. Despite what he meant... He didn't mean to say anything. He curses his lack of self-control, then. He supposes the fact that everyone open their hearts to him give him the same need. 

“I see...” Felix says, and Dedue knows he truly does. “When are you going to spar with me? I'm itching to have a real challenge in a hand-to-hand fight.” 

Dedue too, understands. “Maybe later.”

The encounter stays in his mind for a long time. He wonders if maybe... This discussion was probably the best Felix could mutter as a way of opening up to someone. Particularly to someone like him, with whom they had such a difficult start in a possible... friendship. He dared to use this word, to talk about they relationship. After a moment, he decides that he can not keep on gardening. He leaves for the training ground and hits Felix up on his offer from previously. 

The next morning, Dedue arrives early in the greenhouse. Today is a day of classes so he knows he won't be able to give a lot of time to the plants. But the greenhouse is not empty. He sees Ashe standing in front of the flowers. Nothing unusual. The archer likes to come here from time to time. It does not stop him in what he intended to do, and he walks toward the place where are kept the tools, which is somewhere he needs to pass in front of Ashe to go to. 

"Good morning Ashe" He greets him, but he doesn't get the reaction he expected. 

Ashe jumps, "Oh-!" and he rapidly rubs his face, sniffing, before turning to Dedue. "G-Good morning Dedue."

Dedue stops right there in his tracks when he sees the reddened eyes of the younger boy. No. This is definitely not okay. This feels not right that Ashe was just crying, here in the greenhouse, all alone. But he isn't sure of the posture to adopt. He isn't sure how to comfort his friend. Because he is allowed to cry. It is a good thing, a necessary thing. But he doesn't want Ashe to hurt alone. 

But well... He is said to be a good listener. “Ashe, if there is something you wish to speak about, to anyone...” 

“Thank you...” Ashe says softly. But he doesn't say anything more than that

Dedue thinks maybe he just doesn't want to open his heart to him. That would be a first. But he understands. He only nods before tending to his morning tasks. He takes the watering can to water the plants that need it. Returning from the shelves, he still sees Ashe, unmoving. But he doesn't say anything this time. If Ashe wants to talk, he will. He knows him to be an honest young man. As he waters the flowers, he feels him moving closer to look at him gardening. He wonders then why everyone seems to appreciate so much to see him tend to his tasks. But he doesn't mind. Not if it makes him feel a little bit better. 

“You are really doing a great work here. The greenhouse looks fantastic.” Ashe finally talks, even though it's not to talk about him. 

Dedue takes the compliment with a slight nod. “Thank you. It is only...” He begins, before realizing that he is doing it again. He is again about to rant about things that he would be better with not remembering. Yet he can practically feels Ashe's eyes staring at him expectantly, waiting for him to continue. He resigns himself. “It is only something I enjoy to do. I appreciate the silence of the plants. They have to face so harsh situations sometimes... And yet they manage to bloom into beautiful flowers and grant us with delicious food... I try to make things easier for them, that is all.” 

“Well you do it perfectly.” Ashe praises him again.

Dedue turns his head to look at him, but even if there is a small smile on his lips, he has his head cast down, almost preventing him from seeing his face, being so much taller than him. His eyes seem to still shine, as if he was again on the verge of tears. Dedue feels overtaken by his worries, and set the watering can to look fully at his friend. 

“Ashe, what is wrong?” 

“N-Nothing it's just...” He took in a shaking breath. “It happens, sometimes. As if I can't hold back all my guilt and sorrow inside anymore and it all flows out.” He shakes his head. “T-This is nothing to worry about.” 

Dedue wonders how he could not worry about his friend suddenly crying for no apparent reasons. Especially when he sees the tear that escapes his eye. “What is making you feel those things? Please, tell me. If I can do anything to ease your mind...”

Ashe wipes away the tear, before looking up to Dedue with a look of of surprise, but also... he seems deeply touched. He even manages to twitch the corner of his mouth upward. “Sometimes... I can only think about how... All of this is so unfair. All the lives we had to take. Even... The lives of people close to us.”

Dedue does not say a word. At least, Ashe is talking. He knows that the murder of his adoptive father must have weighed on his mind. But Ashe is such a brave knight, he spent a lot of his time in the cathedral, and then it was as if nothing had happened. He was there, alongside the Blue Lions, following the orders of the church that killed his family. That made him will his father. Because he thinks this is the way of chivalry. He thinks this is the way he will become like the knights he looks up too in the books he reads. Dedue thinks he is much better than his models, because he is right there, with his strengths and weaknesses and talents and flaws.

Ashe takes a deep breath again, but it comes out as a sob. Then more tears spilled from his eyes. “I- Sorry. I feel... So bad for crying for such things”

“Don't be.” Dedue tries to console him. 

“I feel so bad for... when everyone else... Everyone else is staying so strong...”

Dedue would like to tell Ashe that he is wrong, that the others are not staying strong, that they all have their moments of weakness, like him. He would know. Usually they have it in front of him. They come to him to break down. Ashe is not weaker because he indulges them by himself. Dedue knows he is one of the bravest students in this entire Academy. 

“E-Even you...” Ashe mutters with a small laugh, chasing the tears away from his face. 

For a moment Dedue doesn't understand what he might mean by those words. Until he realizes. It is this facade he has. His closed expression and his calm nature. People often assume nothing gets to him. “No, not me. Definitely not me.” He says softly. He could not hear this young knight say this, be so mistaken about him. 

Ashe raises his head to him, after managing to chase away the last of his tears. His eyes are still shining bright, but he seems to have taken back some control. He looks slightly curious, as if he is waiting for Dedue to carry on with contradiction. But he doesn't. No he doesn't feel like talking about his feelings. Even if, these days, when he hasn't been able to have a moment for himself in this greenhouse, he feels as if they would choke his heart. Ashe doesn't need to hear it. Not when he has already so much on his mind.

Ashe seems to understand after a minute. He eyes just dried, he asks again. "Hey... Would you... Come with me in the kitchens and show me a Duscur recipe?"

“I would happily.” 

Later that day, after all the events that happened, consoling Ashe, having to convince the cook to leave them the kitchens for the morning in due of cooking enough for the entire Academy, cooking food from Duscur even though he knew it would be looked down upon, the long day of classes, training and studying with his Highness... The sun is setting when he gets to the greenhouse. He crosses the path of the main gardener, leaver her duties. He greets her and goes to take care of what he couldn't do that morning. 

But just a few moments later there the sound of someone pushing slowly the door. He doesn't have to turn a lot to see who is coming in, since he is taking care of the flowers close to the entrance. Ingrid comes in at the same time as Dedue remembers that she had yet to come and bother him, of all the Blue Lions. Excluding his Highness, because the thought of his Highness confessing to him is... She was the only one who never came to see him. 

She knows it all too well. She very obviously hesitates, even though she is already in the greenhouse, and Dedue has clearly seen her. It seems as if she doesn't know what to say. So the taller man just carries on, trying not to pay her much attention. She already apologized for her comportment at the beginning of the year. He didn't blame her. He is used to the kind of behavior directed toward him. But unlike others, she managed to see past her prejudices. And now they are on good terms. 

But he doesn't feel comfortable with her hovering about. He stands up after a moment, picking up a bag of soil to carry it to the next patch of ground he needs to take care of. She follows him, even if it's from a distance. He feels his own skin crawl, as if Ingrid nervousness became his own. 

“Was there something you wanted to say?” He snaps, even though his calm tone doesn't say so.

“I-...” 

Dedue sees her blush, and understand immediately her discomfort. She came here to rant, just like her childhood friend Sylvain. About worries of the heart. He doesn't look at her, busying his hands with his work. But he wonders if he may guess correctly the identity of who is constantly on her mind. 

“I don't know anymore...” She finally sigh, coming to seat next to Dedue. He doesn't reply. He knows this is not what she expects from him anyway. “There is... So many things happening to us. Important things. Capital priorities. Yet I cannot stop to think about-...” She stops, and Dedue knows without looking at her that her blush is only darker. “This is so idiotic.”

Dedue can agree. He understands how she must feel. To have her mind invaded by the same person, again and again. He knows his own case is... particular. Because all he thinks about all day is his Highness's security. He lives to serve him. This is his purpose. But in Ingrid's case... She always dreamed of becoming a perfect knight, not unlike Ashe's dream. It must be quite frustrating not to be able to focus on her goal. 

“I just don't understand, why she was-” She abruptly stops. And when she doesn't continue, Dedue looks at her with a raised eyebrow. Somehow she manages to blush furiously and be pale at the same time. 

Dedue has to take a minute to think back about what she said that could have made her like this. Right... She is a woman, working really hard to be a knight. And being a woman attracted to another woman might be not very well received. Especially not from her family which expect to see her carry her bloodline. He feels saddened for her. Safe from a few exceptions, they are still teenagers in this academy. They should be allowed to live their first love experiences freely. But they are asked to mature way too quickly, and Ingrid is too well aware of her situation to indulge in her crush. 

In his own case... Four year ago, he violently lost all of his childhood. It was... normal, in a sense, that he could not have those things. Sweet first experiences. But he wished his friends could. All of them. Even... Even his prince, even though the idea of pains him. Yes he deserves it, they deserve it. Regardless of their attractions. 

“You are talking of Dorothea, correct?” He finally breaks the dread of his friend.

“Wh- H-How did you-!?” She became even redder than before. 

“I saw you. How you look when you talk to her. It is a good thing to find comfort in someone special's presence.” He says, directing his gaze on his work once again. The words felt heavy in his mouth. 

“S-So... You don't think this is...” 

He shook his head slowly. And it seemed like he didn't need to use words. He felt her relax next to him. 

“Oh... Thank you... Maybe... Maybe it doesn't mean very much to you but, it does, to me... That someone can, you know...” 

Understand?

“Accept, with no judgments.” 

Right. She must not know, Dedue remembers. No one knows but him. Thankfully. Hopefully. “You never spoke of it with Sylvain?”

“What? No... I would never hear the end of it if he knew. And he would be so not subtle. She would know in an instant.” Dedue understood the importance of keeping her feelings a secret. “Aaah... But if you picked on it I'm sure he did too, or it won't take too long.” She groaned again. “It's an impossible situation... But she seemed to care so much about me, and my future with this... crook who only was after my crest. She helped me investigate on him even though it put her in danger. She really helped me a lot and now...”

Dedue already knows all of this. He was there, during the battle against the men of this merchant who wanted to force Ingrid to marry him. It was truly fortunate that Dorothea had known him and prevented her from making an enormous mistake. But he has to listen, her ranting. Her pining. 

“You know she gave me flowers? And then she proposed that we braid them together in my pegasus's mane. Hh... I swear she is just so...” She shakes her head in her hand, but her smile is present in her voice. 

Dedue remembers when Dorothea had come to him and asked if she could pick some flowers. He hadn't refused. He wasn't sure he had the authority to do so. People often assumed he was the one in charge of the greenhouse because of his skills and passion. He felt a little bad for the titled gardener. But it didn't bother him. It could only be a form of flattery. Even though it was just another interruption in the time he liked to have on his own. 

“Aaahh... Thanks, Dedue. It feels... really nice to let it out.” He knows she is blushing still, he doesn't have to look at her. 

“Do not worry about it.” It's a soft thing, to love. He hopes that she will let herself at least try. He could see them fitting together perfectly. 

Dedue could do without her coming and talking about Dorothea everyday, though. Ingrig is pining so hard for Dorothea. It almost hurts him. Her words sometimes a little bit too close from his own thoughts. But he doesn't tell her to stop. He doesn't tell her to just go and confess already. It would be misplaced, coming from him. 

A few days later, after another one of her ranting, when she leaves, Dedue sees someone hover over the entrance of the greenhouse. Dedue's heart jumps a little bit in his heart, and notices Ingrids step being a little faster. Probably fearing that his Highness overheard a bit of her conversation.

His childhood friend gone, Dimitri steps in and walks to Dedue. “I had no idea you were so asked for...” 

“Your Highness.” Dedue stands up before his prince, to bow before him. He doesn't let him scowl at the display of respect. 

When he is standing straight up again, his prince's face softens and he smiles. Dimitri thinks that it is a good thing that Dedue is making friends with everyone. He is glad. He is truly, genuinely, glad. But he can't stop other thoughts. He still feels this pit of jealousy in his stomach. When will Dedue see him as his equal, too? “I assume hearing people's deepest secrets must bring you close...” 

Dedue doesn't know what to say. It would feel wrong to just go back to his gardening. He feels as if there is something expectant in his prince's eyes, but he could be mistaking. He could be mistaking yet he offers. “You are welcomed whenever you want, you Highness.” 

“Ah, I see.” Dimitri smiles again. 

There is another silence, during which neither of them know what to do exactly. It is a comfortable silence, but it grows unnerving to Dedue. He knows why. He thought of it. With all of them growing yet closer as time passes by, even him and his prince... It is all the things that need to be kept. The things for which he needs to have time for himself, that he couldn't quite get lately. 

“But I don't really know what to...” Dimitri laughs awkwardly. “How do they do it.” 

Suddenly, Dedue realizes what his proposition was interpreted as. Is... His Highness really going to sit down, watch him garden and tell him everything he thinks and feel? He feels a nervousness rising in him. To hide it, he looks around in the colored flowers. “Usually, they just sit close to me and talk about whatever is on their mind. Ashe and Annette try to help me while talking, occasionally. Ingrid is the kind to pace in my back” He hears his prince chuckle. The sound making his mouth want to curl upward. He tries to contain it. “It... unnerved me at first but now it suppose I grew accustomed to it.” 

His Highness nods, then looks at him, expectantly. Dedue registers only a second later. “Ah.” He says, before he turns back and tries to tend to his gardening, like usual. Like he does for all the other Blus Lions. But it is difficult, when he feels like his every moves are observed by his prince. Prince Dimitri kneels next to him. There is nothing said for a few minutes. Only Dedue working in silence, trying his best to forget his Highness's presence just here, right next to him, kneeling next to him. After a moment, he succeeds. For a second, Dedue thinks he could be back to those days where he could have a moment alone. 

Then... He hears him take a breath next to him. “There is someone.” 

Dedue's heart clenches in his chest, as suddenly as the words hit him. But he has no right to feel this disappointment. No... No, he knew it would happen. He has to still his hands. He knew it would happen. Sylvain's story about his highness flirting with a girl only empathized it. He thought of it during one of Ingrid's rants. He is allowed to have this. 

“Someone I wish to befriend.” His prince continues.

Befriend... Can he really feel glad, or is his prince only being candid? 

“But they can't stop to see me as their prince. And see themselves as nothing else but my vassal.” 

Dedue doesn't know what he should feel when he understands that his prince was actually talking about him. And he thought he was about to talk about a girl he was interested in... He has to keep his hands still. “Your Highness...” 

“Ah, and also, never call me by my name. I don't know what to do about it.” 

“Please don't tease me.” He says, with the most neutral tone he can muster. In response, his prince laughs. A clear laugh, almost only filled with amusement. But Dedue knows the guilt and sadness behind it. He is only laughing it off. Because neither of them really know how to address... this. What is between them. 

“Ah, I know, I apologize Dedue... I should not bother you with my silly requests. I cannot force you to be more than my vassal, if you do not wish it.” 

“There is no need to apologize, your highness.” Dedue shakes his head. 

There is another moment of pause, during which Dedue notices he was not moving his hands anymore. He was frozen in place, and still is. But he suddenly wonders for how long? Did his Highness noticed? He turns his gaze toward him. He sees him. There is so much sadness in his blue eyes. Dedue can feel it event though they do not look at him. Even though they seem to purposefully not look at him. He feels so wrong, so wrong to be the cause of his Prince's discomfort. 

He wished he could help him, Really. That is all he ever wanted. But he knows that it would only be selfish. He knows that it wouldn't help any of them if he even left himself call him by his name. But it's hard, so hard when he hears in his Highness's voice this weakness, as though he had to force the words out. As though they cut his throat when he said them.

But he keeps on clinging on to the promise they made, so long ago. So long ago he wonders if his Highness even remembers. One day... One day this boy will become the king of Faerghus. One day it will not be looked down upon to be of Duscur blood. That day, Dedue will finally be able to call him his friend. When that day comes... If it comes at all, he hopes he will be ready. He hopes his armor will have grown unbreakable.

His Highness raises his head again, and their eyes meet. “Is... this not how the others do it? How the open themselves to you?” 

Dedue only nods. 

“How about you? Who do you confide in...” 

The question feels too intimate, somehow. Dedue can not hold his Highness's gaze. Not when he hears behind the question some form of request. It is maybe driven by his curiosity about him, the simple desire to know, who could Dedue call his friend, his confidant, when he seems so adamant to keep his distances with his Highness. But he feels that there is something else, lying under his question. Because he probably already knows the answer. He knows, even if he insists on staying so formal with him, he has no one closer. No one dearest. No one who could confide in except... 

Dedue looks back to the flowers he was taking care of, forcing his hands to start working again. “What I feel... Is of no importance.” 

When his highness is gone, he is left alone. Alone. For the first time in this greenhouse since... Forever, it seems to him. His heart feels so heavy in his chest. A weight he could have forgotten, if he had only have a little time to himself. He still feels the throbbing of his heart caused by his discussion with his highness. So he tightens his hand around the watering can, trying to let go of some of the tension, before putting it down before the small wall. 

Dedue turns towards his flowers. He hums through the lump in his throat, slowly, touching the pale pink petals. 

The truth is, he doesn't need a confidant. Not exactly. Not someone to talk to. Talking to his flowers, he replies to his prince's worries. “If I begin to see you are more than my prince... I'm afraid I will never stop wanting to be more...” 

The moments the words are left out of him, he feels the pain in chest dim already. It is such an efficient thing, that he needs too much. Looking at these flowers he tries his best to help grow beautifully, and leaving his words out, for no one to hear. 

He doesn't know if it would feel the same, if he told someone one day. The thought of telling his Highness seems so improbable that he quickly waves it off. But having finally his moment of solitude in this greenhouse, he can only understand. Why everyone come to him and confess to him. The need to have someone so trusted that he could say anything to them. But he can think of no one. No one with whom he could be closer than with his prince.

So he keeps it all inside his chest, protected by his armor, and for the flowers only.


End file.
